Business Principles 101: Marketing:

1. You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, I'm fantastic in bed! That's DIRECT MARKETING.

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, She's fantastic in bed! That's ADVERTISING.

3. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, Hi, I'm fantastic in bed! That's TELEMARKETING.

4. You see a handsome guy at a party, you straighten your dress, walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, May I? and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, By the way, I'm fantastic in bed! That's PUBLIC RELATIONS.

5. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed! That's BRAND RECOGNITION.

6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend. That's A SALES REP.

7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. That's TECH SUPPORT.

8. You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome guys in all these houses you're passing. So you stop, climb onto the roof of your car and shout at the top of your lungs, I'm fantastic in bed! That's SPAM MAIL.